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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?